After I Woke Up

I swear, this is the strangest part and I still don't understand it. Usually I am the type of person who immediately would call the police. I didn't. I had the most absurd thoughts. Nothing made sense to me. I couldn't think at all. I worried, get this, that my grandmother would be upset because his best friend's mother is in D.A.R. and my grandmother is in the process of having both of us join. I was terrified there would be a scandal. I worried about her blood pressure which has been critically high lately. I worried everyone would think it was my fault because I was stupid enough to let a junkie stay at my house while I tried to help him find rehab. I thought since he didn't ejaculate it would probably just be my word against his. I thought that my mother has gone through so much lately, surely she didn't need to know this also. Mostly, I was just in shock.

I called my rapist's boss. On his cell phone. We were friends kind of. He was the kind of guy, I thought, who could handle this type of situation. Unfortunately, the guy who raped me was actually AT WORK. He rapes me and... goes to fucking work. He saw the call come into the cell phone and picked it up. I immediately started to yell at him about how he had violated me, humiliated me, asked him why he had assaulted me, told him he had no right, etc. He said he did it because he was in love with me. I told him to put his boss on the phone. He did. I told his boss to make any excuse but to come to my house. I told him what had happened. Thankfully, he believed me. He stayed at my house and talked to me until later that night when I went to WalMart to buy locks for the windows downstairs. I knew at least two of them could easily be opened from the outside. So did my rapist. The locks from WalMart didn't fit. The next day I did nothing. I did not bathe, or shower because I still didn't know if I might decide to go to the police and they'd need to do a rape kit.

The next day, my rapist's boss came over again. He stayed late until I went to Lowes and found the appropriate window locks. The next day, the guy who raped me asked his boss if I had spent the night at his house. He had seen his car there and then noticed that both of our cars were gone. Nice. He was watching my house. That was Wednesday. I decided to put the window locks on.

I still hadn't showered. I was wearing the same clothes. The only other people I'd told were my personal physician (I went to his house the night of the assault), and my best friend Valerie. Thursday morning, I checked the outside of my house because I'd heard noises. There was a full gas can sitting next to the bottom story window of my house, and the screen was off. It was not my gas can. It was one of the windows where you had been able to open it easily from outside prior to my putting the locks on it just the previous evening. There was an open package of glow sticks on the ground, the kind you use to light boats. The guy who raped me? His best friend lives on the lake with a boat house. I figured he'd intended to burn me up in my own house, but was surprised when he couldn't get the window open.

That pissed me off. Dylan still wasn't home. It mostly made me angry because of my animals. They wouldn't have been able to get out. I called my rapist's boss. I told him to take to the place where I knew the guy was staying. He confessed to everything in front of his boss the moment he saw me. He could not look me in the face. I gave him some options, one of which was leaving town. He chose that one immediately. Then, absurdly, after telling him to take off, I went to the police and reported him.